...so far.
Ladies and gents, allow me to introduce to you the most favorite Friend of Nigel (Hamster-God rest his soul):
This is Daniel. He's in soft focus because he's too awesome for regular style cartoon drawings. Daniel and I met... in the past... at some point... (we don't really remember when). We've been friends for nigh unto three years now, and about half a year ago we decided there was no good reason why we shouldn't be dating.
After a couple of dates, things were going pretty ok, but we had one major difference, and that was that we had very different ideas where we were going in our lives. Then one day after we'd been dating for a couple of weeks, Daniel and I were in his car and he said to me, "Well, things are going spectacularly so far, and as far as I can see, we have about three options. One: we can just break up right this moment, call it square and remember the good times. Two: we can keep dating, but somewhere down the road, our differences are going to cause us some degree of difficulty, and we'll be forced to end it anyways, and it will be horrible and tragic because we've gotten attached to each other. Three: one of us can change our minds, and we could get married."
At which point, my reaction was somewhere along these lines...
After recovering from my crippling attack of
gamophobia, I decided that I really liked his dimples, so the conclusion was that we would stick it out and see where it led. The subject of long-term commitment would come up every now and again, and my feelings on the matter were generally the same. Every conversation ended with me trying to decide what would happen if I just got in my car and drove until I ran out of gas or something. I really wasn't that accustomed to the idea of staying with someone for longer than the amount of time it took me to become bored of a TV show, and just thinking about it filled me with with so much panic, I think my organs actually shut down a couple times.
He said to me once, over milkshakes, "You know, I think if things were a little different, it would pretty much be Game Over. I mean, you're the girl I want to marry." Fun fact about this particular occasion (although I may be wrong and if I am I'm sure I'll hear from him later), but when he said that, he hadn't even decided that he was comfortable enough in our relationship to tell me that he loved me. But he planned to marry me. Or at least, someone exactly like me but with slightly different qualifications.
Now... some of you may remember an
earlier post of mine about my feelings in regards to dating and courtship, and I can tell you right now that I feel quite sorry for poor Daniel and everything he's had to put up with over the course of our relationship. But he did, in fact, manage to survive those first few months, despite his apparent efforts to turn me into a
total basket case.
And one day, as we were sitting in Costa Vida in the middle of the day making fun of the weirdos that are at Costa Vida in the middle of the day, Daniel said these words:
"You know... I think we could make it work. Like... financially."
And I foolishly said, "Make what work?" Thinking maybe he had some sort of heist or perhaps business venture in mind.
And he said, "Well I mean, I own my truck, and you've got your car, and your job has pretty good insurance and you make good money, and I'll be done with college in a couple of years, and (words words words, he went on for a while), and I just think that we could probably pull off getting married with the way things are right now."
And I heard the following words come out of my mouth, albeit a bit strangled and squeaky:
"Y...yeah, I guess you're right."
It was at this point that I officially abandoned reality and resolved to live in the woods forever, because in no universe I was part of would I agree to wed, and definitely not at 20 years of age. Fortunately for Daniel, I realized that I had to work that day, so I couldn't run away forever. And my shift gave me enough time to step back from the edge and realize that marrying Daniel would be the opposite of the end of the world.
So fast forward a while. A couple of months, I would think. Now it's
The Worst Day.
I was a complete devastated mess. And on top of that, I hadn't seen Daniel that whole day because he was busy with work and school and whatever other nonsense gentlemen of his age get themselves up to. And the next day he was too busy again, and then the day after that he had some time, but he insisted on going to my house rather than us going back to his. And the next day, it was Valentine's Day.
We had both been so busy, we hadn't really managed to make real plans for our first Valentine's together. Daniel had told me a few days before that he made reservations at Olive Garden for us, which was clever, because no way are you going to get a table if you walk into Olive Garden on the night of Valentine's.
I got home from work that night, and had to talk myself out of eating food, because we were getting dinner. So naturally, by the time Daniel called, I was starving.
"I'll be there in about 20 minutes," he said, "I know it's a little late, but I checked and they can hold our reservation."
"Ok, sounds good," I said, silently weeping tears of starvation.
When he came to pick me up a few minutes later, I jumped into his truck, all excited to go, and he said to me, "Do you mind if we stop by my house? I have a gift certificate for our dinner there, but I left it at home and haven't had a chance to go pick it up."
"Sure thing," I said, and died a little inside.
I had a hilarious story that I wanted to tell his parents, so I wasn't too sad about going by his house for a bit.
As we pulled up, I saw that his father's truck wasn't there, so I was a little disappointed. But that was ok, it meant we could be in and out and to food in no time!
We walked in the door, and I was greeted with the following sight and the sound of romantic music:
My first impression, being unaccustomed to such awesomeness on the part of boyfriends, was that we had inadvertently stumbled into someone else's Valentine. I instinctively tried to creep backward out the door, but Daniel nudged me in and presented me with daisies (my most favorite flower). It was then that I realized the whole setup was for me, and in awe of the presentation, I uttered the first phrase that came to my mind...
Then I turned and realized that he was doing the whole one-knee thing, and he said something terrifically romantic like "Uh, hmm. I hadn't really thought what I was going to say... this is... weird... Will you let me make you happy forever? Or something?"
"Yes of course I will marry you," I said, "Now can we eat food?"
And scene.
Anywho, there you have it ladies and gents! I, your friendly neighborhood infrequent blogger, am getting married and stuff! In lieu of presents, please send gifts. Or just cash is cool too.
In summation, here is a reference guide for all the best things about my groom-to-be, just in case you neglected to appreciate his full magnificence.
1. His terrific pointy hair, which my mother mocks constantly, but which I think is quite cool and manly and stuff.
2. He has grand eyebrows. Which is a thing... I just really like his eyebrows. Stop judging me.
3. Even though in this picture, his eyeballs are just scribbly black ovals, in real life they are a lovely blue. Which means our children will almost certainly have blue eyes.
4. That arrow may look like it is also pointing to his hair, but it's actually pointing to his brain. Which is inside his head, where a proper brain should be. It's much smarter than mine.
5. His little scruffy beard is another point of ridicule from my mother, but I appreciate a man that can grow any sort of facial hair and not look like a total douche.
6. One of my most favorite characteristics is his adorable dimples! Pretty much that's what attracted me to him in the first place. He should be grateful for those dimples. They've saved his butt many times.
7. He doesn't think so, but his arms are pretty freakin' buff. And I like his muscles. Even if he doesn't think he has any. Which he does.
8. He can pull off purple really well.
And guys... this is the only time I will ever admit this on the internet, but I figure it should be said. Should anyone ever come under the impression that I don't love him more than all of the things in the world combined, allow me to dissuade you of that notion. I adore this man in all the grossest ways you could ever think of. It's like... all the chick flicks ever, except that I'm not a vapid moron, and I have control of all my faculties, and I still love him that much. I realize I'm not a super affectionate person all the time in public, and I most definitely tease and joke about not wanting to get married, but it's the one decision in my life I have ever been absolutely, 100% sure about. If you ever hear me make a crack about relationships and such, realize that I'm crazy for this dude, but I've got to keep up comedic appearances. It's all part of the job.
Here's a gross picture of us to prove my affection:
Ugh. Look how happy we are. Nasty.
