For Hipsters, About Hipsters

So, hipsters. Am I right?

Actually I don't know. I'm not totally all up on the pop culture things, but I guess being "hipster" is the new thing now.

From what I understand, it's cool to be hipster but it's not cool to be like everyone else, but all the hipsters are the same and they like certain things, but they all claim to like things that no one else likes, but they all kind of flock together, too. 

So basically, the moral of the story is this: I don't understand hipsters. 

From my research, I've gathered the following data, which I've compiled in this cartoon picture diagram of a modern Utah Hipster. 

1. This same hairdo. The boys, the girls, the... somewhere in between... That's the other thing about hipsters, sometimes it's hard to tell the genders apart.

2. Those stupid freaking glasses. Apparently this is the single most identifying feature of the modern hipster. Throwing these glasses on something and captioning it "I ____ before it was cool" automatically means hipster.

3. Totally just tobacco, man. Hipsters... aren't a part of the system.

4. A stupid scraggly beard. Only the male hipsters sport this facial mold, because apparently it's cool to not be cool and throw grooming to the wind.

5. Thrift store clothes. Hipsters like to disguise the fact that they're mostly all poor college students with the idea that buying stinky old clothes is the latest fashion.

6. Suspenders in daily life. Because holding up your pants with a belt is too mainstream.

7. The slouchy posture. I think this might have something to do with the "tobacco," but also could be a display of their general disregard for cultural ideals.

8. Skinny Jeans. Most of them have skinny legs, too, for some reason. But the idea is to look as lurpy as possible, I guess.

9. Those are Toms. It's part of the Hipster Dress Code.

The most important way to identify a hipster, though, is if they ever refer to anything as "too mainstream" or say that they liked something "before it was cool." The basic idea behind hipsterism is to like things that aren't popular, and if there are any real life genuine hipsters that read this, or even wannabe hipsters, I have the following to say to you:

First off, I hope you weren't offended by my diagram. Lighten up, guys.

Secondly, Plans for Nigel is going to be the next big thing in a couple of years, just you wait and see. So wouldn't it be the most hipster thing ever to get behind the action before it becomes mainstream? Jessayin'. 

Tell all your friends. But, you know, through BBM or telegraph or something. Maybe send them a carrier pigeon.

Also, if you're not a fan of PFN on Facebook, you probably haven't heard about the super great contest I'm hosting, and you're also probably not as awesome as you could be. Fortunately for you, I've added yet another new page called "Prizes Fun!" that will provide you with all the deets. 

So you know you want to get in on that sweet action. To help you out, I'd like to direct your attention to the clicky button at the bottom of every post that will help you easily share it on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, or email. 

Also, there's now a link to the Facebook page on the sidebar as well. It looks like a picture Hipster Nigel, but it's really a link if you click on it. If you like the page, it will boost your awesomeness level by like... six awesome points. I promise.