I have no life. This is a well established fact. Sometimes I forget how incredibly lame I am, and then something comes along and reminds me. I thought it would be best to put out a guide for those that may yet be unaware of their lack of social life, just in case. Some of these have actually happened to me, but I won't tell you which.
You know your social life is in trouble if...
...you wake up snogging your pillow and realize that even before you woke up you were fully aware of the fact that it was a pillow and not a person.
...you talk to the TV because imaginary people make better friends than real ones.
...you don't understand the way kids these days think and you still ARE a kid these days.
...you come up with excuses to get out of doing fun stuff because you'd rather sit at home alone and stare at the wall or something equally lame.
...your idea of a night out basically just consists of leaving the house for any reason.
...you specifically shop at stores that have self-checkout lines to avoid interacting with other humans as much as possible.
...people talk to you about parties like you were actually there, but you weren't because no one invited you. Because no one noticed your absence.
...your best friend is a hamster.
You know your social life is in trouble if...
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